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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Celebrity Slam - May 30, 2012 - Maine Edge

Badass Bieber

There’s something irritatingly wholesome about Justin Bieber. Even when he tries to be tough by association â€" hanging out with boxers like Floyd Mayweather and Mike Tyson for example â€" it never quite rings true. He’s all goofy grin and haircut â€" heck, that innocence is one of the main reasons he’s achieved so much success. Turns out Bieber might be a harder case than we gave him credit for.

A California photographer is alleging that the Biebs beat him up.

According to the report, Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez were leaving a Calabasas mall on Sunday when the altercation took place. According to the paparazzo, he was simply trying to take a picture of Bieber and Gomez as they were leaving. Bieber took umbrage and there was apparently a scuffle before the tween idols drove off. The photog claimed injury; an ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital, examined and released.

According to witnesses, however, it was a different story. In that version, the photographer was standing in front of Bieber’s car and blocking him from leaving. Bieber got out to discuss the matter, the photographer wouldn’t move and then the scuffle happened. Witnesses also allege that the photographer was receiving onsite litigation tips from a lawyer in the crowd.

Shady business all around.

It’s too early to say just what’s what here â€" although it has been referred to the LA County DA. If Bieber went all aggro on a photographer for no reason, that’s bad news. Seems out of character, but who knows what sort of pressures the Biebs is dealing with? And even if the guy was being a d-bag, Bieber should have known better. So either way, low marks for Justin.

But what about this photographer? What kind of man feels comfortable about announcing to the world that he got his ass handed to him by Justin Freaking Bieber? This isn’t to excuse ill behavior on the part of the famous or anything, but holy crap. It’d be like getting punched out by Richard Simmons or Dakota Fanning â€" why would you ever tell anyone?

Here’s hoping it’s all bullcrap and the guy not only doesn’t get paid, but must forever suffer the stigma of having been curb-stomped by the cover of “Tiger Beat.”

Neither shaken nor stirred

Be forewarned: this is not a slam of a particular celebrity. This is a commentary on a decision made that has significant bearing on the future of a beloved film franchise. Change is not inherently a bad thing, but some things should remain unchanged.

Quick: when someone asks you what James Bond drinks, what do you say? You say “Vodka martini,” perhaps adding “shaken, not stirred.” And up until know, you would have been right. However, starting with “Skyfall,” the latest Bond offering coming later this year, that will no longer be the case.

You read that right: James Bond will no longer be drinking martinis.

The money men behind this latest installment in the Bond franchise have come to an agreement with the makers of Heinekin. The beer maker has coughed up $45 million; in exchange, the most iconic alcoholic beverage in cinematic history has been dumped for a low-rent beer that tends to taste like feet smell. Thus far, only one former Bond has voiced his displeasure with the development, but don’t be surprised to see others join George Lazenby in his outrage.

This is not okay.

It’s just one more example of the power of the almighty dollar. Yes, yes â€" these guys are in the business of making money and $45 million is far from chump change. However, is it really worth sacrificing movie history just to pull a few extra bucks? Deep down, we all know that money is first and foremost in the minds of Hollywood. It’s just sad to see such a blatant example. But if we’ve learned anything in the past two decades, money talks and historical significance walks.

How the mighty have fallen. From “Shaken, not stirred” to “Make mine a Heiney.” The Bond franchise hasn’t screwed up this badly since they cast Roger Moore.

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